this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023

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119

After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice? (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

123 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I've never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I've never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don't.

The problem I'm having is that I don't exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there's nothing there and apparently that's considered abnormal these days. I think it's starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I'd rather not get into.

I'd just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Don’t. Stick to your guns. You will be better off

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I think Facebook, with its (ostensible) emphasis on real-world connections, is a good place to start.

It was the first social media platform I ever used.

Social media is bad for your mental health. So as you add social media to your life, also add self cate routines like copious exercise, meditation, real-world social contact, etc.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Which branch?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Why do people feel the need to brag about how they don't use social media?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

I think more than the fediverse isn't needed

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You’re on social media right now. You know that, right?

[–] [email protected] -3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Forums are not social media. God I am so tired of this disingenuous, and intercontinentally stretched argument.

"Hur hurr rhurrrrr U TLAK 2 PEPUL HARE TAT MEN U SOSHUL TAT MEN DIS SOSHUL MEDEEUH"

Social media is a very specific thing, relating to things like Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/TikTok/Etc.

Forums, like Lemmy, are not social media. Just because you interact with people on something doesnt make it social media, trying to stretch the definition to that regard makes everything from clay tablets, to semaphore, to IRC to email social media.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

Ummm isn't this a post on Lemmy? Aren't you already using social media then?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

LinkedIn, and Instagram. You don't need anything else.

[+] [email protected] -7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (12 children)

As a woman who was single and dating, saying you don't have a social media is a red flag. Best case scenario, you truly don't and it's probably from having some sort of arrogant judgement value about people who do, worst case, you have a spouce you are hiding from me.

Either way, not worth the risk. Like all the women I know feel the same. Sure it's a historically newer redflag that didn't exist 10-50 years ago, but neither was worrying about crypto gambling and manospehre BS. Modern problems require modern precautions.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If you told me on a date that no social media is a red flag I would just interpret that the opposite way entirely.

I find social media addiction a full-on, hard-stop, red flag, deal-breaker.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I love that your post gave a probabilistic binning of someone who doesn't have a traditional social media account, which was unironically confirmed by people replying with rustled jimmies.

Come on folks, it should be clear from context that she is saying that a single woman setting up dates is going to use what limited info they have to avoid stalkers, cheaters, red pillers, and anti social people. That this might filter out perfectly normal people along with the creeps is the cost of maintaining safety and not wasting time, which is pretty much par for the course in dating. There's also a difference between exchanging info after a brief meeting, and actually knowing a person for an extended time and then dating. I doubt OP is saying that someone they studied with for three semesters would be excluded for lack of social media, because they have real life context and don't need the proxy filters.

Also, getting real close in these replies to "but I'm a nice guy" and "I'm not like other girls."