I think is more like: "I dont have any explanation that wouldn't prove that god doesn't exist"

Toilets are different though. If you've ever tried to fix one you'd eventually figure it out.

Most people would call a plumber and pay the bill for swapping the feces-capacitor-unit or whatever is billed, and that's how toilets work to them. They don't think it's magic, they think it works because the plumber was paid.

To anyone who has tried to fix one, it also isn't magic. It's just a really clever design consisting of several valves controlling the input and output of water in different pipes. I won't try to explain as there are several different designs, but the main idea is that valves work just like logical gates. On/off. Just like a computer has bits and booelean operations, toilets work by manipulating the gates(valves) either by user input (pressing the flush buttons) or by conditions changing (the pressure of water at certain levels).

Toilets are logical. You can run Doom on toilets. Try to run Doom using the bible.

They surely do in Tokyo...

That thing was smarter than my smart TV.

Honestly, if I was a God, I would create the universe, then just watch how it unfolds, why would I interfere to save what is the equivalent of ants to me?

HEY! every once in a while it feels, like, kinda special and directed at me. so doesn't that mean that - aside from all the times it doesn't - the world was created just for me, in "my image"?

Children abused by clergy.

Good works in mysterious ways.

It get worse than cancer.

That's an interesting line of thought - see, standard human religions involve actors with often inhuman motivations who often react emotionally... It's not necessarily locus of control. It's a powerful actor changing the environment, and as your own actor you can choose to attempt to influence them (through anything from appeasement to outside intercession to trickery), you can adapt your own actions (like changing to more drought resistant crops), or you can throw up your hands and say "times is tough, it's not my fault - it's because the gods are fighting"

Then you have the Roman Catholic God (aka the Roman religion deliberately engineered to make for good subjects to an empire and using Jesus's name).

Almost all religions, including Judaism, have this idea of a creator (translated as master of the universe for Jews, the yawning void ginnugagap for the Norse, etc), but the Creator isn't really an agent - it's beyond understanding for even the gods. They're the source, and living in harmony with their design brings good things and going against it brings misfortune. The creator only interacts indirectly, mostly through creation or emergent properties of systems

Then you have gods - like the God of the Israelites. They have power, agency, have limits (great as their power might be), and can be influenced by individual or group actions of humans.

But then you have the Roman Catholic God - it combines the omnipotence and omniscience of the creator with the agency and motivations of a god, and it is the only supernatural agent, the others are just constructs serving its will

My point being - if you have this one agent creating everything, who cares about you individually and shaped reality based in part on your actions as an individual - is that not an absolute internal locus of control? If your reality is being personally tailored by an all-powerful, perfect agent, then your actions become absolute... You don't have the power yourself, but your actions and experience become able to shape everything based on the judgement of this all-powerful God

It's interesting to think about

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my unemployment, anxienty, depression, and alcoholism need to have a chat with Epicurus..

Story of my life.

I mean, your given example isn't actually an example of your previous points. Its not a "every cloud has a silver linings" statement, it's a "I still believe in God even when bad things happen. This isn't proof of neither his non-existence or his non-caring." Eve your example is a poor thought experiment because it assumes a limited power god who can only break your foot, but can't actually prevent the drink driving accident in any less painful way.

It's a "I'm going to pretend this was supposed to happen and is a good thing regardless of whether good things come from it."

It's the response to "earthquake kills 1000s".

The other, less religious reasoning you provided is much more clear and less stretches with a lot better phrases. Even your descriptions would work better than providing the phrase itself to someone who is currently hurting. This phrase ultimately defends the bad thing as a good thing instead of telling the person shit happens, play the cards you were dealt, you can still win even when you're coming from behind.

True, but I bet you'd communicate that to your pet if that was within your power to do so. In fact, if you could magically cure your pet you'd do that too.