LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.
this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
You can hang on to the penis of someone who's climbing.
You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.
I love living in the future
Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.
Don't let them upsell you on an auto jacker, the manual ones work just fine.
I hate being on ladders, I'll stay down here with the penises.
Hello.
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
What if I make a penis ladder? Buncha dudes with raging hard boners standing on each other's shoulders. Two towers of this, with the tips touching.
What songs lyrics are these fire verses???
This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬
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If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.
Hopefully it doesn't take more than four hours to ascend.
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
What about two penises
What do you think the ladder is made of?
Penises obviously.
I heard that ladder had like, 30 goddamn dicks
Watch me climb the dick ladder mouth first.
I can sure send the guy to heaven though...
I know it's shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you're alone, isn't the whole point of the Bible that you don't have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God's grace?
I.don't understand evangelicalism.
Some would even argue that the point isn't to accept god's grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
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"Hands full of penis" is a great title.
Mrs. Jane "Hands full of penis" Smith
or
Mr. Samuel "Hands full of penis" Finch
Hands full of penis is my new album
I don't know if that would be a great or the worst. But I am down for it.
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I'll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I've gotta say, I'm worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth... And hes like all apologizing ... "Sorry, it's been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning." So on and so on.
All the while knowing he was intimidated by me swinging around my rock hard cock yelling "Look mom! No hands!"
🎶 What's love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner
Touching your penis IS heaven.
Aw, thanks :3
Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.
Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW
Oh fuck, for free???
I love Subaru
Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don't need to touch it to masturbate, and I've touched plenty of other guy's penises. Is my "ladder to heaven" just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.
I mean, wouldn't you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of "practice?"
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Fuck you. I'm waiting for the shuttle anyway.
Unless you're climbing a penis ladder
Even if I have a Jacob's ladder?
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