this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 hours ago

I believe you're working on a false dichotomy here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I didn't hate it but it's awfully fake and plastic. Then I watched a few videos this girl posts on Reddit where her husband sets up gang bangs with huge crowds of men for her, and she's just so dead eyed and visibly just trying to get it over with because he's making her, while all these men just use her and she just sort of lays there with no facial expression, and despite her captions on her posts that she just loved it, it was super depressing to me and I stopped watching any of it at all. I also think poorly of BDSM but I won't get into the details as some people on here got upset at my opinion before.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It is incredibly disgusting to force or even gently push someone into doing something sexually related that they are not really into.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

Like it's so sad to me. She seems so detached from everything she is doing, and the men are just using her while she just waits it out. I hope someone helps her.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 hours ago

I'm not sure if this question is positing that women aren't stimulated by porn visually, or if it's using porn as an example of something to be stimulated visually by.

My wife likes cartoons and has a diploma in animation. Her class was like 80% female. Animation is pretty much by definition visual stimulation.

But if we're talking exclusively about eroticism, there's female directors making porn for the female eye too. IMO it relies less on the gonzo fake shit and tropes of mainstream porn too, so it might actually be healthier to consume (note: not a sexologist)

Either way, I'm not sure that this divide between men and women exists where you think it does

[–] [email protected] 40 points 13 hours ago

but most females are not?

What are your sources to say that? I mean is it just a feeling or do you have some data?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago

Emotional safety is easier to feel than see.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

A big one I've heard and kinda experience myself is that most porn is made for men. Most straight porn is made to appeal to straight men, and so is most lesbian porn, and of course gay porn is generally made for gay men. Porn by and for women does exist, but it's a lot less common outside of written erotica

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

What do women look for in porn? What would make it arousing?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

As a woman, mutual enjoyment. Like it needs to look like they’re actually having fun. And that goes extra for stuff like bdsm porn where there’s been enough monstrous shit that got by (honestly I really don’t consume bdsm porn much outside of places where I feel it’s safe to assume mutual enjoyment because of this despite being very into it irl).

Also on the lesbian porn part, I want to see women that look and act like they’re actually having lesbian sex. Like, a woman who doesn’t skip arm day, being playful then doing some muff diving.

I mostly read my porn for a reason.

ETA: also the misogyny in a lot of porn is a massive turn off. Especially because it’s often unprompted.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

More kissing and cuddling. More romance.

But that's a generalization, it's going to depend on the woman.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Probably something that focuses on things that feel good to the women part? I mean there is a whole category of "Female friendly porn". And I suppose there are lots of things that feel very different depending on if you're at the giving, or receiving end of the "rod". If the "actor" slaps someone with that, it'd depend which character in the film you're empathizing with. And it'd be either arousing or annoying to you. And that's mainly your perspective doing that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

all porn is made assuming a male viewer, so it appeals to males, maybe if females had porn made for they then they would be more interested, have you ever seen ladies reading sexy romance novels? they are the target audience of those and they seem popular enough

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

This. Give me heterosexual porn where the focus is on the guy and we barely see or hear the female participant. I'd watch it every day. As it stands, the options are gay porn, solo male vids, or erotica novels.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sorry but a porno focused on the dude yelling and panting sounds more like pathetic to me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

It sounds like you're not the target demographic because that sounds amazing to me. That's basically what sex is like for half of the population.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Romance novels are wildly popular (https://freakonomics.com/podcast/romance-novels/) and many of them are very explicit. I remember my mom and grandma (!!!) reading them while watching me and my brother when we were little - can you imagine watching a little porn while watching the kids? 😳

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

yeah my mom never did this, buy my friends moms did

wild

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

*most porn.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago

Wait, who says I don't get turned on? I even have honeymoon rhinitis for this very reason.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 13 hours ago
  • Women are stimulated by porn, but from what I gather they have a higher level of "disgust" to overcome
  • Women are stimulated by visual things like a good looking bod
  • Women in general have lower levels of wanting to smash everything, it's not much deeper than that
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Which species are you talking about?

If you mean humans you should use "men" and "women", as these include the social construct of gender and are presumably crucial to your research.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Most male female porn is pretty aggressive and frankly patriarchal. A lot of the female female porn is made for a male audience but is still preferable to other women I know and myself, than male female porn, because of that aggression in hetero porn. As a trans woman and a lesbian, I can't really speak for gay porn. I haven't watched much of it. But I know some women enjoy it.

And just like men, women have their own tastes.

All of that said, the female sex drive is very different than men's. And I'm sure it affects how much porn we end up consuming.