this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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Non-monogamists. Not referring to simply polyamorists or even relationship anarchists, but non-monogamists in general. When I saw LGBT equality unfold in the first world, I thought "yay we're finally throwing off those norms" but here we are a decade or so later and polyamory still gets everyone saying "meh". The only time I've ever seen polyamorists in late night media was in an episode of The Resident, and it was used to illustrate the man as a cult leader, which tied into the show like pineapple ties into pizza (I do not miss that show). But you have an LGBT couple in every five episodes.
I think this one is tough. I know a few people that consensual non-monogamy has worked out well for (long term), but most of the people that I know who tried it out it hasn't gone well. So I'm not against it in theory, but it comes with a lot of caveats. I don't personally know anyone who began a monogamous relationship, transitioned to poly, and had it end well. I tend to think of this scenario as a sign of relationship trouble, or a cause of it. Maybe it's not polyamory's fault that so many people in relationship trouble are drawn to it.
I know a lot of people for whom monogamy hasn't turned out well, too. Lots of divorces and broken hearts. If you think of all the relationships that don't work out, the ones that do are miracles.
That's fair for sure. I do think I've lived long enough to know a few predictors of failed relationships though, and if someone tells me they're opening up the relationship, then I expect them to be done within a year.
That's probably a selection bias though. Most people might try opening up their relationship when there are already problems.
It's true, and I kind of mentioned that in my original comment. I'm just speaking from my experience. I do know one couple with an open relationship who have been going strong for years. The difference for them (I think) is that they have been poly since the beginning.
It's pretty common to the point of being cliché that "we opened up out relationship" will fail. Usually the people involved are going to come at it in an extremely hierarchical way. Often there are existing problems that aren't being addressed. It's almost at the same tier as "let's have a baby to save our relationship"
People who are non monogamous from the start I expect have similar success rates as anyone else.
I pretty much agree.
I don’t “meh” is hate. Just don’t think people are interested in non-monogamous relationships. I find it funny though because people still cheat and we have a high divorce rate, yet people still shame others for being promiscuous and desire to be in monogamous couples.
Yeah, I understand not wanting it in one's own relationship, but other people should be allowed to do whatever they want. I don't understand getting upset at a polyamorous couple. If you don't like it then just don't do it yourself
Yeah I'm sure this is for no reason
There’s a ‘polyamorous’ couple in You and they’re a terrible representation of polyam. They’re more swinger, which I know a lot of and they’re cool, but not the same.
Polyamory is wildly misunderstood and gets a lot of negative feedback as a result in my experience, and while I know it’s not for everyone, ENM is a solution that would let a lot of people be a lot happier than they are today.
Even LGBT is far from being actually free.
fuck the haters non-monogamy is badass