Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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That my desire to be cis passing and just blend in would go away over time, and that ultimately I'd start to find it like another form of closet that I'm stuck in.
I don't know what that means I'd have done differently, but I know I'd have thought about my options more
The band She/Her/Hers has a song called Nvr Pass about this exactly.
I'll have to check that out, I'm definitely not familiar with the band.
One of my favorites from her is “I’m not ‘supposed’ to be anything”.
Awesome, thanks for the rec
Their comment made me think of that song as well. Sorta wondered if ada had it in mind. So many great songs.
Nope, I'd never heard it before it was suggested here!
Hey thanks, id never heard of that artist and am loving it. The lyrics feel waaaay too relatable 🥲
NGL that sounds pretty great right now.
Of course. I thought similar when I first started. But over time my opinion changed.
It doesn't mean yours will, but it's definitely something I'd like to have been able to tell my past self
That's some really good information. Thank you. 💜
This scares the shit out of me because I've seen women change their demeanor when they pick up on me being trans. It's not a lot, but you can sense the change conversationally as well as the emotional walls going up.
I hate it and can't wait for the day that other stealth trans women talk about a la being asked for pads/tampons, risk of being pregnant going into the hospital, stuff like that.
Yeah, don't get me wrong, that side is wonderful. For me personally though, the problem is that it means my queerness is less visible to my own community. And the queer community is a whole lot more important to me than cishet acceptance is.
And, I'm also not sure that I'd do anything differently with a "do over", but at the very least, I wish I'd have known about the difference it would create in my relationship with the community I value, so I could have factored that in to my approach.
(And I say this with the privilege of living in a safe city in a safe country, where cishet people knowing that I'm trans doesn't open me up to danger)